A Leap of Faith

I've been adamant that we were done having kids.  Absolutely done.  There was just no way that I would even CONSIDER being pregnant again with Rex traveling.  In fact, those words were some of the first ones out of my mouth after birthing Cade.  But Heavenly Father had a different plan for us.  Rex felt we weren't done yet, but he was always very respectful of what I thought and wanted.  Then I kept having some pretty bizarre things happen to me (waking up in the middle of the night to see a child standing above Rex's head - thinking it was Cade and went to touch him/her, but then he/she disappeared.)  That happened twice.  My heart started to soften and I started praying sincerely about it.  I had the impression that if I chose to have another baby, that everything would be fine and that Rex's traveling situation would change.  Rex started interviewing for different jobs but was accepted to none of them.  I found out I was pregnant and kept waiting for this change-of-careers miracle to happen, but it never did.  I'm still waiting for something to happen, but I've been surprisingly better able to handle this pregnancy (and three boys) much better than I had before.  Heavenly Father is blessing me, even if it's a "strengthen your back to bear the burden better" rather than a job change.  I have peace that we're doing the right thing and that Heavenly Father is still watching out for us.  So even though I've been very tired during the beginning months of this pregnancy, I've had hardly any nausea and really an ideal toddler to understand when mommy needs a break.  Cade makes a great cuddle buddy and is so sweet to have around.  Whenever I wake up from a nap, he says, "You better, mom?"  I truly am blessed.